marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
