I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize