Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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