He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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