the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
