I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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