I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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