Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
