Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
