Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
