I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
