Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
