I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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