bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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