I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
