I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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