Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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