I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
