literally had 100 drinks last night.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I intend to get homeless drunk
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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