I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
