If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
