Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i think i just lost a toe
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
