you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
