I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
