i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
