Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Someone came in the potted fern
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
