Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
