her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
