I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
