I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
