drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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