I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
