I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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