Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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