You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
