ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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