you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
