used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I have vodka in my lungs
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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