I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
