i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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