is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
