i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize