Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
