you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
