she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
