My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
