She is in my trunk
Jerry, you need to find god
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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