I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
