I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Your cock deserves a montage
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
