It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
