Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
