3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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