Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
