I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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