How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
