Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
