On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
