yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize