i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This baby is an asshole
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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