I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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