Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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