You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
